Crazy for Her
by steepedinshadows419
Summary: Barry dwells on his love for Iris. Barry/Iris. One-shot. [25 Days of Westallen Fanfiction: Day 17]


A/N: I was stumped for inspiration/motivation of Day 17 of my _25 Days of Westallen Fanfiction_ event. This is all that would come to me. So, it's not really a *story* story with plot and dialogue and what not, but I still really like it, I think. I hope you enjoy it too. :)

*Many thanks to sendtherain for beta'ing.

*I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended.

...

Is it crazy how much he loves Iris West?

Kind of. Maybe. Yes. It is absolutely, completely, totally crazy. It was crazy when he was eleven, and for the next fifteen years when she never even considered he might think of her as more than a friend, more than a housemate, more than family that wasn't really family but felt close to be family but distinctly wasn't.

It's crazy that he continued to love her so fiercely, so intensely when he was in other relationships. It wasn't fair to Linda or Patty or even to Felicity, whom he'd forgotten the second he returned to Central City and Iris' bright, cheery face was the first one to greet him.

He got lucky that when Felicity traveled so many miles to check up on him after he'd woken up from his coma, she'd already moved on. It would've been easy – the two of them as similar and compatible as they were – for them to give it a go then, even with the distance. But a goodbye kiss told both of them what they already knew. They weren't it for each other. They wanted something more extraordinary. They wanted a soul mate.

He kept screwing with time when things got rough or he needed assistance from someone long gone or even on accident, like that first time. But his constant justification was this: Iris West wanted to be with him in that present timeline.

The first timeline he traveled to completely separate from his own was maybe hardest because only one day had been altered. Everything else was as it was, which meant Iris was still vehemently determined to convince him, her, Eddie, and Joe that she had no interest in her best friend, Barry Allen. Most of the time they all believed her. After a couple of valiant tries, Barry believed her for months on end to the point of nearly giving up the prospect of winning her heart.

As devastating as it is to leave the family he loves, to leave Iris, he can handle it as long as he isn't the one being left behind without her. It's selfish, and he knows it, but he can't bear to be without her, and he could stand it even less when it was because she has died. Savitar was a cruel twist of fate, but when _he_ was on death's door time and time again, as agonizing as it was, the one constant thought was – _at least it's not Iris_.

It's crazy how much he loves her, how that love for her increased tenfold when their daughter appeared before them and convinced them she was in fact a West-Allen. He ached for all the years the future dictated he would lose, but there was some relief when his daughter assured him that Iris was still alive in the future. In 2049, Iris West-Allen still lived. Later he would learn of the strained relationship between mother and daughter and be heartbroken by it, standing by his wife no matter what but hurting for his daughter who felt so betrayed by her own mother.

But his wife still lived. She hadn't been killed. She hadn't been so distraught by her grief from losing him that she'd killed herself. She still had a relationship with their daughter, as strained as it was. She raised their daughter alone, and Barry knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she'd done the absolute best she could.

Iris West-Allen was smart and beautiful, savvy and sassy, clever and talented and determined. She was loyal and warm and soft, but firm when necessary. She was everything any man could ever want. And she'd chosen him. Three timelines and two years since he first confessed his feelings, Iris had been ready to reciprocate. Nothing could have made him happier. Until she said yes to his proposal – twice; forgiving all his failings, such as his getting lost in the need to save her to the point that he didn't recognize it was wearing down their relationship. She forgave him for leaving her, for not consulting her before he did. She forgave him for Flashpoint and for waiting so long to tell her everything. She forgave him for so much, and yet she still saw him as this bright, shining light in her life, the only man she had ever truly loved, ever belonged to.

Sometimes Barry questioned his good fortune. It seemed so impossible after all the times he'd fallen short. His moral code was not to kill any villain, no matter what they'd done or how impossible they were to contain. He'd broken that code a couple times and yet still enforced it upon himself and others when they tried to do the same. Was he a hypocrite? He wondered sometimes.

But as Iris continued to tell him, he'd done the best he could in the situation. And really, if Iris told him something, he didn't struggle to believe her. She was his north star, his lightning rod. With Iris by his side he could stand tall no matter how often he was knocked down. His heart beat the most for her. It was how he could love other people, because she loved him.

He doesn't take offense when co-workers tease him about being whipped. He glories in it. He loves it. He's not even bothered when Iris casually mentions that Oliver is attractive, not really, because she spends all her nights in bed with _him_ telling _him_ how he's the one and how he makes her feel alive and how glorious _he_ looks and feels, and really, how can he be jealous after she lays it on that thick?

Not that he falls short. He tells her she's beautiful all the time – sexy, hot, pretty, stunning, gorgeous… Occasionally he panics because he thinks he might be repeating a compliment and he doesn't want her to think he doesn't mean it or he's just saying it to say it. But she always reassures him with a look or a smile or a kiss. She knows he's absolutely crazy about her, and she _loves_ it. She's just as crazy about him.

He's crazy about his wife, the mother of his child, his soul mate for life, Iris West-Allen. He's been crazy about her since day one and will be crazy about her until the day he dies, and even after that. If the Flash museum really exists in the future, he hopes there's a section in it that talks about his love for her, even if it gives away his identity. Because there's no Flash without Iris West, and it'd be a shame if everyone who came to see his legacy didn't know that fact as well as their own name.


End file.
